tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17847513392823437242024-03-12T18:58:04.526-07:00Caged.Birds.Dance.Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-16200947958534946682012-12-22T14:21:00.000-08:002012-12-22T14:31:33.617-08:00Nobody wants happiness<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">How deep & wonderfully complex is the human heart? I really meditate on this a lot. I sat this morning in my dining room, sipping my favorite coffee; enjoying the beauty of yet another day offered to me. I think back on my life when times were awful and when times were so sweet; I close my eyes and drift away to relive them again. I used to do this, coffee-morning-meditation more often as a person passionate to love and enjoy life & find meaning in resting in the present moment. Although my life was falling apart, I trusted life's grand plan would work all things out for my good. I was a really happy person. I was also a terribly miserable person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you are anything like me, there is something in you that comes alive and is blissfully, "<b>Well with your soul</b>" listening to Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1. (as I write, I'm drowning in bits of Heaven pouring into my soul...) Your heart might skip an almost frightening amount of times when you see the sunrise in an Arizona sky. Maybe you've danced in the warm Costa Rican rain in the middle of a thunderstorm, Glee-ing your own joyous moments to yourself with that Nik Day song,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Tell me how could life get any better,<br />I feel like I could live like this forever,</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>The sky is such an interesting shade of blue,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>& there isnt a thing that we've got to do.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>No it doesn't matter near or far,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Cause Love is the same no matter where you are</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Oh life is such an interesting thing to do...."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In every joyous moment,there is something( some thing) desperately aching inside of me to settle in, get cozy and make a warm cup of coffee and live there for the rest of my life. Everybody knows what I'm talking about; every human heart is conditioned for it. Some call it Truth, some call it happiness or peace, reality, consciousness, awakening (as a former New Ager, I guess it's also referred to as Enlightenment). All religions are desperately aware of the human desire to cultivate, protect, chase, become aware of "it". If you disagree, you're lying. I don't believe anyone believes in atheism, because they'd have to<b> believe</b> in that too. Oxymoron much? Don't misunderstand me, I'm not proclaiming a war on happiness. <i>I've just realized we're marvelously human beings & painfully aware of it. </i>(Recently, with the school shootings, how evil we as a species can become too) Then how wonderful we can be too, when we gather in the midst of tragedy and heart wrenching times. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I started to believe the Truth, about this one True God in Christ; I was horribly deceived that I could no longer be a human. I can't touch, see, or feel. I'm bad, I'm a sinner. Prone to wander from a Perfect-Too-Good-To-Be-True-God... who is selfish for my affections. I thought "Denying myself" meant denying being everything I am. Every bit of goodness and every miserable thing. Robot much? <i>My heart became numb to every sensation of life</i>. As God has been drawing my heart towards the world again, in Today, I've opened my heart to being human again. To just being completely aware of my crazy humanness. To the joy, to the pain, to the anger, to the frustrations. When I am presently aware of how happy I am reading an elegant, breathtaking piece of literature with a delicious glass of <i>pinot noir</i> in my hand.... it means I have to be undeniably aware of the emptiness I feel when it's over. So on we go, searching for the next love affair of our hearts; disappointed and discontent at every turn. I'll say it again, <u>we are painfully and wonderfully human</u>. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> As I drank my coffee this morning, as its something I deeply enjoy doing, God whispered suggestive words to my heart that as lovely and wonderful as life is; <b>We are not looking for happiness.</b> All the tastefulness of this life are the shouts of a God far more satisfying than anything in the world can ever offer. I've come to the terms that I am not one of those Christian that believes, "Everything is bad." I tried that . No trabajo. (Spanglish for," It didnt work")</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I still believe we have a holy God, whom we were <i>entirely made to enjoy Him</i>, <i>Love Him</i> and be <i>Loved by Him</i>. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>I believe Jesus has invited us into the greatest love affair we will ever be offered;</u> because when we confess, if you will by now, that we are aching for meaning and ultimately something more than our friends, spouses, good food or sex offers. We realize what we really want is complete acceptance & we can only achieve this by means of being accepted for who we are. <b>Dirty faces, & unclean hands</b>. No one will ever perfectly accept us, we stand in the face of criticism & judgment every day. White/black/brown/tattoos/degree/CEO/Janitor/piercings/fat/skinny/disabilities/rich/poor. <b>We don't want happiness.</b> We want acceptance & freedom & we can't be accepted without needing to be forgiven for something. God is, in Him alone, big fat "Welcome" mat to settle into that cozy house we all dream about. I've heard some preachers say things like this about what, Jesus said when he said, <b>" I am The Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me."</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We all tend to think its all about Heaven and who goes to Hell. But Jesus didn't say that, He said, "No one comes to the Father" in essence, the Fathers house. The Fathers Love. The Fathers unfailing acceptance and forgiveness. God didn't just look down on us & leave us to our happily miserable selves content with fleeting pleasure, as C.S. Lewis said,</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”</span></h1>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He came for us, confessing our discontentment, to be a God who can be all the God we need Him to be (and so much better than we could ever dream up). I am realizing the joy's in life, worthy to be grateful for and enjoyed,but they are infinitely unsatisfying in comparison to the Love of Jesus. It's all pointing to God. & He came to be our cozy days, our rainbow, the Bach of our hearts, the intoxicating wine of our souls; & exceedingly, abundantly, incomparably all our minds can conceive or imagine & by this Love, I am continuously humbled, grateful and offering my life up to the Hands of all Joy and Life.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In my Fathers House, (there's always room for more)</span></div>
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Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-58771341803849666762012-12-16T02:05:00.002-08:002012-12-16T16:02:49.579-08:00The Saviors Way: Road to Redemption <br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"A lot of times we reach out to Him and beg for help. Pray our wounds to be healed.. What we sometimes don't realize is we reach with one hand expecting help and with the other conceal our wounds because they hurt too much. Don't do half of the work, reach out with open arms and Let him touch you."-My Facebook post Sept 6, 2010</span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">Last night I had a dream, about my ex boyfriend. Oh you know the one, that I was with for half of my life? That one.<br />Generally, if I have a dream about him. I wake up psycho-analyzing every reason why, "Do I still love him? Do I miss him? Do I wish we were back together? Oh you must still love him, that is pathetic....".... by the time I pull the covers from my head I've taken my own heart and stomped, kicked, hissed, and torn it to a million pieces. </span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><i>But today was a little different. </i><br /><br />I wrote that previous quote right when I was real jacked up, when I was total crazy dying on the inside....but drawing near to this beautiful, real, intimacy with God in the midst of my brokenness. I remember God kindly asking me to remove my hand from my wound, and let Him touch it. Talk about raw pain, I'd just gotten dumped by my boyfriend of 8 years while calling venues we were deciding to get married at. My world had literally crumbled in one single day. So you wanna go there? Jesus doesn't want a little bit of the pain, the beauty of His wonderful intimacy demands it all. & how I was recklessly abandoned to give up anything He asked to feel more of His wonderful presence! So, heart broken and wide open, I let Him into my pain. I let Him comfort me. I remember intimate first nights with my Dad, I would be in bed just crying and crying and have no more of a prayer than," Jesus, just give me the peace to sleep tonight." Because sleeping alone, in a joke of a "bedroom" I found on Craigslist after sleeping next to Daniel every night for 5 years was unbearable to do, which is why I mostly drank myself to sleep before I found the Lord. But in my nightmare, I would cry to him and there be waves of indescribable peace washing me until I fell asleep; & I loved Him for that.</span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><i>Psalm 147:3" He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."</i></span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><i>Psalm 51:17 " The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O Lord, You will not despise.."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">I've had really wonderful friends and family as I've been walking on this road of healing. But sometimes, I feel (as I should) no one really understands the way Jesus does. </span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">"Have you broken soul ties?"" Yes, I think like 18 times. "Are you still in contact w/him?" No, only when his girlfriends mom (who I happen to work with) last mentioned their trip to Spain. "Do you wish you were back together?" No. Most days no. No. Then the inevitable:" Have you forgiven him?" I've realized forgiveness isn't just a one time decision to forgive the abandonment,forgive all of the horrible things he said about me, how I never really got an explanation other than a paraphrased," I missed out on partying and all of the single life, so now instead I think I wanna do that." Forgiveness, for me, means letting my life be redeemed in Christ. I don't know how long that will take, but I know it's finished already. Because Gods Word says, I am more than a conqueror in ALL things because of Christ.</span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">But for a long time now, I've been tiptoeing around facing how I feel and feeling guilt- so I flee into more church work-fellowship- even in my alone time...You see God & I have this thing, we're not supposed to talk about "it", cause I should be over "it" by now. What I didn't realize was somewhere along the way I put my hand over the very thing I came to Jesus for initially: a broken heart.</span></span></h5>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">Its been about 2 years since this surrender to God and as I woke up this morning from that dream, the Lord said to me," Valerie, take your hand off of it. You don't need to know why or try to figure out how to fix it. Let me in with you." I wrestled with it initially, well, all day honestly; until I was driving home. I began crying as soon as I hit the onramp home and took my hand off for a minute & He gently wrapped His arms around me the whole way home. Jesus says, "My sheep know My voice.." and I found myself promising to not "do half the work" anymore and walk this way with Him till its finished; whenever that is. (Phil 1:6)</span></span></h5>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">My prayer is that anyone reading this, who's gone through what I am or chances are you will know someone eventually is, not that: You would pity them. The world throws pity parties, Godly people throw comfort parties (love one another, yes, pray for each other) Not that you would allow him/her to wallow in disappointment, but that you would remind the despite it, there is hope eternal. I even dare say, Don't tell them, " God has a husband/wife for you." its true and awesome but first remind them instead, "At His right Hand are pleasures forevermore. (Jesus is seated here) There is comfort in Christ & let me tell you, this doesn't always look pretty. It's messy, but there is a beautiful powerful nearness in our need for Jesus to be our strength and light in the wilderness of grief. Because although, I know God is all powerful and can do ANYTHING. I also know there is a Peace that comes with praising God through the pain. There is a hope that emerges in the, shadows of His wings, and joy in the Lap of the Father. </span></h5>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">the Road to Redemption. </span><i style="font-weight: normal;">To deliverance,to being rescued.</i><span style="font-weight: normal;"> I like that. I like it because its trusting in the process, in the signposts marked," The Saviors Way--->Keep going!" So as I'm writing now, I'm encouraged in my heart. Because I know this road leads me to more of Jesus. </span></span></h5>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Paul said it this way about some of Jesus' disciples felt, he said they were," Sorrowful...yet rejoicing." </span></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">Yeah. I really like that.</span></h5>
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Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-76214245107014567562012-10-25T23:14:00.000-07:002012-10-26T00:20:34.814-07:00Pick up your mat and walk! <br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love that with Jesus, <i>we don't need to explain ourselves,</i> he doesn't want to hear our pity party about our past. The way people have hurt us, disappointed us, or let us down. <u>In fact</u>, Jesus came to crash our beat downs, misunderstandings, complaining, excuse-making parties. <b>It's not that He is apathetic towards our situations</b>, the Lord cares for us and comforts us in all our troubles. It's only that He knows everything about our lives already </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><b><span class="text Ps-139-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">O <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, you have examined my heart</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-1" style="position: relative;">and know everything about me.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-139-2" id="en-NLT-16218" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">2 </sup>You know when I sit down or stand up.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-2" style="position: relative;">You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-139-3" id="en-NLT-16219" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">3 </sup>You see me when I travel</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-3" style="position: relative;">and when I rest at home.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-3" style="position: relative;">You know everything I do.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-139-4" id="en-NLT-16220" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">4 </sup>You know what I am going to say</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-4" style="position: relative;">even before I say it, <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-139-5" id="en-NLT-16221" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">5 </sup>You go before me and follow me.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-5" style="position: relative;">You place your hand of blessing on my head.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-139-6" id="en-NLT-16222" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">6 </sup>Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-6" style="position: relative;">too great for me to understand! Psalm 139 1-6</span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Have you ever felt paralyzed? We're afraid of screwing it up, of misunderstanding Him, of disappointing him? Or is it a little different: Have you been hurt & scared to move on? Maybe your life hasn't turned out the way you thought it would & someone let you down and you don't know what to do "next." Maybe you aren't feeling like a "good Christian" for some sin you've been hiding lately, that cannot be hidden by the way (<i>Your Father knows you intimately, Psalm 139</i>)<br /> No matter the reason, I wonder if we are like the guy in John 5</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #990000;"><span class="text John-5-5" id="en-NLT-26181">One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years.</span> <span class="text John-5-6" id="en-NLT-26182"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; vertical-align: top;">6 </sup>When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, <span class="woj">“Would you like to get well?”</span></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love Jesus, "When Jesus saw him and <b>knew</b>(he was aware of his situation and his past) he had been ill for a long time and yet he asked anyway, "<i>Would you like to get well</i>?" The man laying there had to have heard about this man Jesus! The miracles, signs and wonders! Yet he still replied, "I can't sir....someone else always gets there first." Thankfully the Lord didn't join the pity party, seriously, literally </span><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">says in the verse before this, "All kinds of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed lay on the porches." Now, I know these people we're truly sick and hurting & the Lord had compassion and came to heal them<i> </i></span><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>but I feel like a few of them may have been content laying on that porch</i>, pleading, " We have no one to put us in the pool." Yet to this man the Lord spoke to, He commanded him, " <b>Stand up, pick up your mat, and WALK!" </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">& He did. It says he was healed instantly, picked up his mat and began walking. Some people tried to stop him(like yourself or others try to stop you too) to which he replied," <u>The man told me, pick up your mat and walk.</u>" I love that response!! This man, who had no faith, simply responds:" I was told to get up and walk, so I did." </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Is the Lord telling you to "Pick up your mat and walk"? Did we hear the Lord the first time when he told us:<br /><i>Pick up your mat and walk, you are Forgiven</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Pick up your mat and walk, you have been Redeemed</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Pick up your mat and walk, you are made clean by My blood</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Pick up your mat and walk, leave the past in the past.<br />Pick up your mat and walk, into forgiveness for others </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">__You can fill in the blanks with whatever the Lord is ASKING you as he asked that man, if he WANTED to be healed? Do you <b>want</b> to be well? Some of us, in a way, sometimes are telling the Lord we're content in it. Whatever is hindering us from being closer to Him by refusing to</span><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> pick up that mat and walk with Him. But I think some of us are done being lame (pun intended) & realize, when the Son of God is standing before you asking if you want to be free..You just pick up your mat and walk.</span><br />
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Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-70786830405417703622012-10-20T21:44:00.000-07:002012-10-20T23:16:55.959-07:00You don't love God today. <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #e69138;">"If you loved God, you'd do/say/act/feel_____!" If I had a dime for every time that voice snuck into my head! I won't even ask you, professing Christians (sarcasm), if you have ever had the same thoughts. If we all have the same God, there is surely one Liar!<br /><br />Honestly, I could get drag this out and really get into how we are wired to, spiritually and culturally fill ourselves with junk , sex, alcohol, food, praises of men, vanity, but most of all: Love. We will do almost ANYTHING to get it, from objectifying ourselves, buying more and more, chasing success and ambitions; But I'll save that for another time.<br /><br /><br /><b>You don't love God today.</b> Come on, you know it's true!<br />You probably didn't get up and pray for your "devo" time, and if you did, you might have rushed it cause you were just way too tired (you may or may not have stayed up too late last night twittergrammin' somethin) OR how about when <i>you were not-so-patient-&-kind</i> (Hello 1 Corinth 13, you can't even get the first two down!!) OR how about because its the holidays and you work grocery at one of the busiest "I LOVE TRADER JOE'S!!!" retail chains and all you did all day was complain about _____ . </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yikes!! You are pretty much the worst "Christian" ever. Yes, you kind of fail at it, so, you must not love God. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I know some of you may have some words to throw at me here and tell me how I should and shouldn't be doing all of those things, BUT, hear me out. I completely agree....</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #e69138;">Our God, our Father, is HOLY and PERFECT, JUST & RIGHTEOUS & Jesus said it Himself "Only God is good!" Mk 10:18. God has said it a few times in His word, "There are none who seek me, none who do good, all have turned away." <b>Now this isn't going to be a message about beating you down into humility</b>; my aim is for you to be <b>reminded</b> that we're all in the same boat here & if you are truly a person who has been born again, you'll know it was the goodness of God that led you to repentance (changing your mind about Him/sin)<br /><br />When I began to seek God out, God through this man Jesus Christ mind you ; My mom charged me with this, "He is calling you by NAME. " I'm still pretty intimidated by that, not in a bad way, but in a holy reverant...-The-God-Of-The-Universe-Knows-My-Name kinda way. When you realize the Maker of Heaven & Earth is calling you to follow Him, you may unknowingly finding yourself wrestling with thinkin you have to earn this in some way.<br /><b>Yes, you are undeserving, but God is perfect in all HE does. </b>Do you BELIEVE that? When He said, unto HIS glory(lest you boast about how you are closer to God more than the next person because you outreach minister more....), that you have been saved by GRACE alone (By His perfect, wonderful, mercy) He didn't stop there though, since God is just He had to make sure you, whom He is calling by name, were fully justified (made right) to Himself so He came to earth to do it perfectly for you. We sing,"Nothin but the blood" but lets not forget Jesus was perfectly obedient to the Father unto death for our sake! Is anybody else feelin me? Why the <i>more and more</i> I know the Cross, the <i>more and more</i> I claim to know nothing else but Christ crucified? Why <i>the more</i> I know I can trust the God of all creation, when I can relate to John in 1 John 4:16 when he whispers along with the Church, <i>"We know how much God loves us, & so we put our trust in His Love.</i>"<br />Why, when I get up in the morning, I don't drag my feet into pray to God as if my Father hasn't been watching over every detail of my life BY HIS GRACE alone. Because, <b>its all grace,</b> in case you didn't get it by now. We cannot put our trust and hope in ourselves, for we have proven ourselves not so great at it, we come to the Cross and put our faith in His finished work & <i>we rest</i> & <i>humbled</i> by our God. He served us when we refused to serve Him. Now, <u>knowing this</u>, how can we not be drawn- <b>adoring</b> and <b>madly loving</b> a God like ours? We can't, at all, being so enlightened by Grace believe our love for God is dependant on His love for us. <i><b>So now, we love Him, we rely on Him, we say no to the things that don't please Him</b></i>, we repent remember Christ at our defense, & <b>our humility doesn't require thinking less of ourselves,but rather meditating so much on Jesus.</b><br /><br /><br />Loving God, only<br />only<br />only<br />only<br />Because He has FIRST loved me, <br />Bc He lifts my head, tore the veil, & draws me with loving kindness,<br /><br />V</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #e69138;">p.s. If you see someone strugglin with this, please, please, for the love of all that is good in the Gospel..Dont give them more things to do, Remember, " The letter(law) brings death, but the Spirit brings life." Tell them about the One who did what they couldn't & how He loves them!</span></span></span></div>
Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-40383171418447978722012-07-01T00:54:00.002-07:002012-07-01T01:01:29.131-07:00John Sparrow<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="line-height: 14px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><b>"Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:16-17</b></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know its been a while, but I knew what was put on my heart shortly after meeting John (I'll explain the made up alias). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was the usual, same kind of boring Tuesday at work. Just filled up my favorite coffee dog cup & was finishing up writing an order for someone who had forgotten to before their day off. I stroll past the sample station and my attention immediately pulls me to the conversation ( I wasn't <b>TRYING</b> to be nosey, <i>really</i>) Once I stop and sort of creep around a bit, my eyes settle on a young guy, around 24-ish, shaved head, over-sized T shirt, blue jeans, striking blue eyes. Then I notice the dirt, I notice the cuts, I notice the look of shame & the unconvincing effort to make up a story about "His father and him staying in a hotel room, needing very simple things to cook: No stove or such things." (Which very well could be partially true) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But as he spoke to Sharon, slipping a sample into his mouth, then another...then another....then another; I realize with every bite this is not the entirety of the matter. He slowly backs himself out of the conversation and slips into the sunshine of Carmel Mountain. As I watched him go, I made an escape into the back room and sighed in heart-wrenching helplessness. As I start to tear up, Sharon follows me back, "Hey, are you okay? Whats wrong?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm almost speechless. "Did you get his name?" "Huh???Who?" "The guy, the guy you were just talking to." "Oh, no, why?"...I tried to explain, but why bother? His hunger was beyond obvious, I just smiled and walked off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I walked back to my stack of beer, but I couldn't shake those eyes from my mind. Lord, I have seen/spent time with/prayed with plenty of "keyless" as my old boss JB would call them & <b>it's been a long time since I have seen and almost <i>felt</i> how hungry that man was</b>. As the tears started flowing from my eyes, I self admitted myself to one of my 10 minute breaks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I wandered back to the artists den, where a wonderful and beautiful Jesus lovin lady named Bree gets her art on and I plopped and cried. I told her everything I saw. Like a woman of faith, she simply replies, " How much more valuable is he..." is all I hear. Yeah, yeah, than a sparrow. I know this one.... But that's not enough. All I wanted to do was feed him, why did it have to be at a time when I couldn't possibly do anything? To make his belly as full and happy as those eyes may have been once. Then come all my other, Why?....why.....WHY?'s & I cry out to God silently as I sit there. Then I pray for him, all I can do is, pray. I pray that John would come across a stranger sometime very soon after, who would reach out-look into him- and do what I was unable to do; I practically command it in desperation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: #76a5af;"><br /></span><br /></span></span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-44661619204490261202012-05-13T01:58:00.000-07:002012-05-13T02:00:42.367-07:00Jenny: Hippie Pilgrims<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I've recently discovered how much cheaper iced coffee is at Starbucks vs. Vanilla-froo-froo whatchamacallits are (sweetened w/milk for only two whole dollars & fifty cents cheap!). So being an 80 degree kinda day in beautiful San Diego, I decided to read a book and grab a cold one before work today. Since God has been revealing I am called to be an awesome </span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">big toe </b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">instead of an arm, nose, or whatever other body part I was trying to be (Cool fact my friend pointed out as I was celebrating big toes everywhere: The body would fall over w/out the big toe! It's for balance!); I've quite enjoyed resting in Him for </span><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>EVERYTHING</i></b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> and as He has put it, "</span><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Finally </b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">now we can get</span><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> </b><i style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">YOUR</i><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> work done." </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Still stuck in some bad habits, I walked into the Starbeezy right next to my house and my brain was immediately taken captive buy the Impulse-Buy-Ninja-Attention-Stealers lined up screaming, "Buy me!" as I am waiting in line. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Nope, still to expensive...</i> I glance up for a second and my eyes meet with a hippie looking brown skinned girl. There's about a .7 second awkward stare before she cracks and smiles first. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Maybe she's my stranger....</i><i>Eh, probably not .</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What? I only had about 40 mins to squeeze in some good reading time outside!!(God's working in my life, I swear...)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I get my coffee and head outside to find a nice quiet table to sit, read, and pray at. A random guy comes and plops at the next table with a mini poodle, (no kind of dog a man should have on his leash IMO)...but that's neither here nor there..<b>.</b><i><b>Is HE my stranger?</b> </i>I steal a glance & of course he looks up at the same time & proceeds to smile<i>..</i><i>...mmmm, Yeah, nope God. </i>(I pray that God blesses him anyway)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can't get my mind off the hippie girl inside. She was gettin her study on, seemingly, I don't want to interrupt that w/some random "Sooo like, I do this thing...." shenanigan I decided to start doing. (Yes, this is me making excuses). Fast forward ten minutes later & I find myself inside spinning my heel in front of her as I started to walk outside. As she pulls her earbuds out, I give her my spiel "So you're...like, my stranger. " (Not my finest," I'll pray for you moment") She's a little confused at first & I can't figure out whether or not she thinks I am crazy till she blurts out, " <b>Wow!! Really</b>?! I feel like, so lucky!!" She starts telling me how "<b>My sister does this sorta stuff w/her church...</b>" and her long wonderfully thin black hair trails down the front of her shirt merging into 3 different colors: Blue, purple, & pink. <i>So, pretty!! </i>I'm listening again. Can I sit down?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Whats your name again?"Ahh, so can I pray for you about.....anything?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm terrified actually." She looks <u>realllly </u>stressed suddenly. "You can pray for that." About what?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I start school in the fall, San Luis Obispo..." We make small talk as she shares her fear of loneliness, failing, & all that other stuff you are terrified of when you are suddenly "on your own". Unlike my friend Bobby, I instantly know what to pray for. <b>Friends. Support. Community. </b>I ask for her hand and ask God for all these things plus a few extra like "<i>Grace for school work load</i>"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After we're done, we hug and say goodbye & she thanks me again for choosing her (I protest how I didn't of course) & I silently pray again as I walk away, really reallllly praying God would bless her with some friends there in her new world to come cause they truly are a part of Gods grace for us as we search, long, hurt, and grow on this journey. Again, I sense that familiar feeling of peace & total joy as I walk to my car. I wonder how much I missed being trapped as an arm, probably in a sling I'd guess. <i>That doesn't matter, </i>I hear a whisper of reassurance, but I ask to be forgiven anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #351c75;"><span style="font-size: large;">It matters that I responded today. That I saw the good works He prepared for <u>me</u> </span><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Today. </b></span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><i><span style="color: #351c75;">For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 21px;">& I feel glad. Glad He opened my eyes. Glad I met Jenny. & I prayed again. I prayed for that beautiful blue, purple & pink hair. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-18227975753932858602012-05-09T18:29:00.005-07:002012-05-09T22:00:24.877-07:00Bobby : Chronicles of the Pilgrims<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;">I sat in the sauna at 24 hour fitness last Wednesday afternoon, quietly immersed in thought over a new book I picked up recently called </span><i style="font-size: x-large;">Praying For Strangers </i><span style="font-size: large;">by an amazing author named River Jordan. This book, breathed a fresh air into me, that I've been praying about for a few months. I've felt the gifts I have too </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">insignificant</span><span style="font-size: large;">, lacking<b> crazy holy fire kinda passion</b>. I love talking to people. I loved it more when I was a non-believer & have wondered where my place in the Kingdom lies & how/if this gift can be glorifying to God.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;">The book is literally the simple concept & story of a woman who was lead by God to pray for a stranger a day; a resolution she sort of fell into. As I have been reading this book, Gods expanding my mind again & pulling on my heart about the power of Love between strangers (<i>who, really, are not really strangers</i>) One word that comes to mind instead, is a <b>pilgrim</b> (<i>a foreigner, travelling wanderer</i>). Realizing, we are all wanderers; looking for a home. I've made the best of friends with these pilgrims (as one myself!) through smiles, through a genuine "Thank you" or a simple conversation while waiting in line at Starbucks. I've asked God again and again as I've wondered what my part is here; how I can do it for His glory. I've battled and battled to figure it out; leaving me useless & sidelined instead.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;">Until Bobby.<br /><br />I resolved I would pray for a stranger a day too & wondered what God could show me through something seemingly so simple. Truthfully, I hadn't been seeking out a "person" who pulled on my heart for well over a week after I bought the book. As I was sitting in the sauna & selfishly checking out of life for a moment, a voice piped out of nowhere breaking that awkward-sauna-silence, " <i>Whatcha readin over there eh</i>?" I looked up to see a slightly overweight middle aged man, sweaty, and inquisitive about my book. It was him. <b><i>My stranger</i>.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;">I kept that part to myself and vowed to listen and be invested in our conversation w/out an agenda. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;">I told him the premise of the book and we began to make small talk from our love of great literature, to how we both came about living in San Diego, to how he knew angels had been following him & watching over him his entire life. I don't quite remember the exact story of his angel, but I told him that God has clearly never left him & then lovely awkward silence that followed a man who feels he may not be the best candidate of the care of the Creator of the universe... crept into the room. I know none of us are perfect, but I also know God made man in His likeness; clearly. So just before he walked out, I blurted, probably with a little too big of a smile, " <b>So you're my stranger!</b>" He looked stunned. (I mean, what did he expect?:) He was a perfectly good stranger to pray for! I asked him if he needed prayer for anything specific. Flustered still, he managed to mumble with a nervous laugh, " Um, well, um, I don't know! What do YOU think?" My thought was basically,for Heavens sake, you got nothin!? But I said, "Well then, I will just pray God brings lots of joy & laughter & protection to you &tonight, I will say an extra prayer just for you." He looked down & it was as if I could hear every thought in his heart. <i>The undeserving thoughts of lowliness, </i>the <b>grateful</b> thought of a <b>simple</b> idea that someone would," <i>say a prayer for me?</i>. We said our goodbyes and the room & all the other people in it suddenly faded back into my peripheral. I said to God, as my eyes welled with tears of thankfulness that God sets up divine appointments with fellow pilgrims of all race, gender, status, & background, that <i>if this was my part</i>; to <b>love the wanderers</b> the best I could, my answer is, " <u>Help me be more aware &<b>YES</b>, Lord, I will</u>." & if they ask why I do it, I will say, "Because Jesus did it for me." </span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:10</span></span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><i>Send me, I'll go, Isaiah 6:8</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-90946187931692877082011-10-11T00:35:00.001-07:002011-10-12T19:02:01.631-07:00Dream w/Two Feet On The Ground<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/258392489_9JvJMZWz_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/258392489_9JvJMZWz_c.jpg" width="309" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
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</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">As far back as I can remember, I've <i>always</i> had a love for a <b>good story</b>. I was the <b><u>dorky kid</u></b> who would get in trouble for hiding my book under my desk so I could read while the teacher was lecturing (<i><strike>I knew I'd never need to actually know that equation</strike></i>!) & I have good memory of my dad scolding me for bringing my book to the dinner table. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I <b>LOVE</b> books. (I was actually a bookworm last year for Halloween, dork much?)<br />
I LOVE to write as well.<br />
I used to write poetry and was obsessed with all the great poets by the time I was in the 6th grade. However because of my <strike>dorkiness,</strike> I often raved madly on and on about things like time travel to places in <u>Eqypt</u> where <i>dinosaurs</i> roamed and ruled the city and men were subject to their authority and dominion. <br />
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<i>Though like most of us</i>, as the wages of time and life wore on me, I began to <u>lose sight</u> of the simplicity and satisfaction of good books and a good imaginative story. I lost child-like sight and passion for the very things inside of me (besides God Himself) that make me <b>come alive. </b>When the biggest storm of my life hit in 2009, out of all the things I had lost, I realized one of the biggest things that slowly withered away was the dormant dreams God set in my heart at a young age; <b>My OWN flame, my own gifts and my own desires.</b><br />
Thankfully, I've rediscovered both of those passions. I'm probably reading 3 books right now(Yes, at the same time). & Clearly, I've <i>sharpened my pencils </i>and dusted off some <i>old journals</i> to begin to discover my love for w o r d s again (Obviously I'm not in the lack of things to say)<br />
With time I've realized its not so much fun to be a <b>dreamer</b>-standstiller-<b>simplistic</b>-imaginative person all by your lonesome.<br />
We need other people to fan some of <b>their flame</b> into us, to nudge us a little closer and <i><b>deeper</b></i> to our child-like ambitions/imaginations.<br />
Surround yourself with <i><b>sillies</b></i>, if you love to laugh.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">With <u>smarties</u>, if you feel you need educating.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">With <b>dreamers</b>, if you too "Have a dream.."<br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">but more importantly, with Encouragers,<br />
who do not look at what you are now, but a finished product;<br />
not who you were, but still not yet what you shall be.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Finding MY Flame in the Stars,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Valerie</span><br />
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</span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-70840003167732027722011-10-07T23:13:00.000-07:002011-10-07T23:22:55.199-07:00You don't KNOW me!! But in case you want to..<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is a guest interview I did over at <a href="http://themillersnj.blogspot.com/">The Miller's</a> with my lovely friend Jazmin, (give her a shoutout on Sunday, its her birfday!!) Thought I would share it with my faithful followers and anyone who wants to know a lil more about me :o) E N J O Y! & God Bless <3 </span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: left;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: left;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Three random facts about Valerie:</b> </span></div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">1. I hate walking around barefoot indoors, love it outdoors, but inside I get totally weirded out when I don't have shoes on...Its okay to NOT invite me over bc of </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">this lol :)</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">2. When I eat a regular sandwich, you know, not the sub kind, I have to tear the sandwich in a half WITH MY HANDS. No knife cutting involved.</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">I know. Its weird.</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">3. I’m allergic to ricotta cheese, and no other dairy whatsoever. Don’t ask how I knew it was an allergy. </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"></span><br />
<div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">What are your passions? </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">As I get older, and yes 25 is now officially getting older, I really have found myself being passionate about the </span><span style="color: magenta;">little things in life; passionate about God opening our eyes to how much better life is and can be enjoyed in simple things like</span><span style="color: magenta;"> flowers, rainy days and warm cups of coffee, in the silly things my kids say in the UnderTheSea program I help in at church,</span><span style="color: magenta;">its in sharing in the suffering of friends or perfect strangers who pass in my line at Trader Joes.</span><span style="color: magenta;"> The word "Passion" has redefined itself</span><span style="color: magenta;"> time and time again and recently has become a greater challenge, because it means I cannot back down regardless of what I see, or any excuse, or </span><span style="color: magenta;">what other people are doing around me. I think we can be and should be passionate about everything we do in life, because it all has a purpose. I think</span><span style="color: magenta;"> I'm passionate about passion!! :o)</span><br />
<b style="color: black;"> </b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: black;">What are your goals?</b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">I have a few :o). </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">1. Eventually start two non-profits: One geared towards the homelessness </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">and the second will help families with terminally ill children </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">2. Minister to sexually trafficked women overseas</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">3. Missions</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">4. Daily goal: Die to myself</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">5. Life goal: Be like Jesus</span><br />
<b style="color: black;"><br />
Is there anyone that you really look up to as an inspiration?</b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Christ. But on earth now I look up to different people </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">for different reasons. I look up to my mom for her great faith during trials, I look up to my dad for his tender heart, but I would have to say</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">I really do look up to my grandma, who passed away a few years ago from cancer. My grandma was the most Godly woman I've ever met.</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Her smile could light up in entire room; she never ran out of them. If she was ever having a bad day, you'd never know it because she constantly </span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">put the need of others before any situation of hers.</span><br />
<b><br style="color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">What motivates you on a daily basis? </span> </b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Bacon. Bacon on eggs, bacon on French toast with peanut butter, BLT’s, potato/cheddar soup WITH those little bacon bits.</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">But no, seriously? That it’s not about who I am, but what He’s done. </span><br />
<b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;">What's always in your refrigerator?</span></b> </span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Milk, coffee, eggs, turkey burgers.</span><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Trait you most hope you have in common with Jesus.</span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"></span></b><span style="color: magenta;">Compassion </span><br />
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<b style="color: black;">Song that best describes your spiritual experiences to date: </b> </span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Probably "I am" By Kirk Franklin. It’s a great way to start the day, a nice cup o’joe, and dancing around reminding myself my walk with God is a process. “I am, so far from perfect. I thought life was worthless until You showed me who I am. I’m on my way to who I am. Not who I was, but still not what I shall be.” I pretty much still cling to this Truth like a new-born baby! It’s my milk in the morning,….Is that awkward?</span><br />
<b style="color: black;"><br />
S</b><b style="color: black;">uperpower you wish you had:</b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Flying would be pretty flippin’ sweet!! I would be tempted to creep on people though and fly around my friends houses. </span><br />
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<b><span style="color: black;">Best piece of advice you ever got: </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">This is ever changing, but more recently by a good brother, "K.I.S.S."= Keep It Simple Stupid LOL :) . For some reason, it speaks to me. </span><br />
<b><br />
<span style="color: black;">First word that pops into your head when you hear "christian": </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Jesus</span><br />
<b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">What is your number one inspiration for your blog, or simply life in general? </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Creating some kind of beautiful unity from my life into yours, hopefully with a little hope and a lot of awkwardness. </span><br />
<b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;">Describe your personality in five words.</span></b><br />
<span style="color: magenta;">Random</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Conservative</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Silly</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Dreamer</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Passionate </span><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Organized or messy? </span></b></span></div><div style="color: magenta; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God is sanctifying me okay? ....<br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Vintage or new?</span></b></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">If you know me, its gotta be vintage!!</span><br />
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Mix-matched or matchy? </b></span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;">Can I be both?</span><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Realistic or ideal? </span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">I turn my ideal into my reality. Suckas. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And lastly, what's your favorite accessory? </span></b></span></div><div style="color: #444444; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="yiv47732443Apple-style-span"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">a smile :o) My mom always told me “Smile please. You look so ugly when your face is like that…No, I’m not saying you’re ugly. I’m just saying, when your face is like THAT, it makes you look ugly.” Thanks mom. Needless to say, I smile A LOT now.</span></span></span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-37802335827647567972011-10-06T00:56:00.000-07:002011-10-06T11:58:29.648-07:00Just another " Have A Nice Day."<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u style="font-size: x-large;">I stock grocery shelves for a living</u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. As in, I make my means to pay my bills by slangin your quinoa and bagging your brie and favorite </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“OMG I LOVE THOSE”</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> infamous pita crackers. As someone who works in the “service” industry, I’m sure you can imagine what kind of conversations we get to have with people (invited or not). From </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“Excuse me, Do you carry Colon Flusher?”….</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">“Yes we do.”</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">“......Have you ever used it before?” </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Umm..."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>Or</b> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">“Hi this is Valerie, thanks for calling ____, how may I help you?”</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">“Do you have your Kittys Fave Tuna Snax in?? My kitty really misses them!! She is soo sad!!! She won’t stop asking me for them…</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">What’s that?? She wants to talk to you!”</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">……..<u>I couldn’t make that up people</u>. I had a five minute conversation with a cat, and I could be wrong, but the cat actually sounded sad. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But occasionally we get the <b>“ My husband just died of cancer.</b>” </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or “Yeah it’s my day off, I’ve been out of work for a year now.” </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or the not so extreme,” <i>I’m okay</i>.” </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">When something in her inability to meet your gaze, or the dark circles under his eyes indicate the “</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">okay</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">” may be because of a long night staying up caring for his wife who just returned home after her <b><u>4th</u></b> chemotherapy treatment.. The question is, <b>how could we know</b>? </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Most of the time, we feel <i>awkward</i> and <strike>uncomfortable</strike> when we see someone suffering right in front of us. As much as we say we want to do good and help others, the truth is, we kinda just want the <i>nice happy people</i> to come through and small talk about the rainy weather. Instead of the girl who clearly is about to break down and cry for reasons unknown. The truth is, we aren’t nearly as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">courageous</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> (or <strike>selfless</strike>) enough to look into the eyes of another human being and find out how <i>IN THAT MOMENT</i>, you can be a blessing in their lives. You <b>cannot</b> fix them or the problem, but you <u>CAN</u> bless them by not treating them as another $20.11 in Seaweed Snacks, another “Have a nice day” like just another face in the crowd. We are all “<i>faces in the crowd</i>”, we all feel alone, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">insignificant.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Copi7yEiHNE/To1q91CG1VI/AAAAAAAAAGY/VZnRiWOeRKY/s1600/alone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Copi7yEiHNE/To1q91CG1VI/AAAAAAAAAGY/VZnRiWOeRKY/s320/alone.jpg" width="263" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But we are looking for a reason to have hope in something, it might be, that a perfect stranger would actually <b>look you in the eyes </b>and for one minute step outside their world and <i><u>REALLY see you</u></i> and your need and in a beautiful exchange between the human heart, be a reminder that you that <b>you are not alone</b>. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I have let many divine appointments slip out of my hands because I didn’t take the time, or was too afraid/awkward to ask how their day was <b>really</b> going; but there are and have been times when I stepped out in faith (no matter if I was rejected or awkward) and asked that question a little more deeply a second time. I will tell you, most people don't know it; but we all feel a little more alone than we'd like to believe & I've had amazing stories and moments with strangers I would've missed out on if I'd just said, "Have a nice day." What I have come to realize in life is at the end of the day(&our lives for that matter) all we have to hold onto is <i>HOPE </i>in tomorrow, <u>FAITH</u> for today, and to <b>LOVE</b> until we get there.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I <b>pray </b>every day I dedicate to the top of the list the greatest thing any of us will pursue in life: <b><u>LOVE</u></b> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">& <i>you can take that to the bank. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EdhhARvDZMQ/To1kDfOT1PI/AAAAAAAAAGU/5CBs8nbrwVA/s1600/loveseed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EdhhARvDZMQ/To1kDfOT1PI/AAAAAAAAAGU/5CBs8nbrwVA/s400/loveseed.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Not to <i>EXIST</i>, not to <u>LIVE</u>, but to <b>LOVE</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Valerie </span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-26352006625379999382011-09-19T12:56:00.000-07:002011-09-19T13:48:04.568-07:00Cr@p My Mom Used To Say #263<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm not quite sure what type of little girl I was looking back, besides being a <i>sassy-r0yal-pain-in-the-you-know-what</i>! </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But by the time I reached my high school years, after some pretty <b>awkward</b> (you know what I'm talking about!) stages.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I emerged <i>no braces</i>, <u>a few extra <i>curves</i></u>, and basically a lot more confident than my baby fat, tomboy face of most of my life.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">(I am such a baby here!!)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">er<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qZrlM9Yy-MA/Tnegg6CuzRI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/WZ0SEkaRxmM/s1600/Valseniorpicscopy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qZrlM9Yy-MA/Tnegg6CuzRI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/WZ0SEkaRxmM/s320/Valseniorpicscopy.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I always joke with people that I'm going to make a book titled, "<b>Crap My Mom Used(&Still Does) To Say</b>." Because truly, my mother is one of a kind (in an amazing way). <b>Straight up</b>, she says some of the most <i>off the wall stuff,</i> and she has pretty much been that way since as far back as I can remember. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The point here is, regardless of my emerging swan time. My mom would constantly nag me about <b>smiling</b>.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Not the in cutesy, how you would imagine a loving mother kindly nagging her daughter about the importance of smiling;</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But sometimes we'd be at the grocery store and I'd be checking my pager (Yep, thats right..If its maja hit me on my paga!!) and I would hear her, </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">“Smile please. You look so ugly when your face is like that…No, I’m not saying you’re ugly. I’m just saying, when your face is like THAT, it makes you look ugly." </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Back to me rolling my eyes, wondering when I'd be able to return my page (haha!!)</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Here's the thing though, some of you may not understand how a mama could talk like that. Thankfully, I do. & I love and appreciate my mama soo much! </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>Thankfully</i> [Insert life altering event here] and I learned the hard way that smiling is the <i>most beautiful, cheapest,</i> <i>accessory</i> I have to offer the world. Straight up (also like my mom says) the most beautiful girl in the room could be the ugliest if she isn't smiling.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Thanks mom, <i>needless to say</i>, I smile a lot now. :o) </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">So look at all <u>your rings, your necklaces, your make up </u>and realize the most <b><i>beautiful</i></b> thing you can wear today is your </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><b>Smile </b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
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</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/205690652_CvZJnOKq_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/205690652_CvZJnOKq_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Smile or don't but as my mom would say,</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">You probably look ugly if you aren't!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">To <i><u>REAL </u></i>Curves,</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Valerie</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-58080775928461732722011-09-17T12:52:00.000-07:002011-09-17T12:52:03.400-07:00Stronger Saturday's<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Good Morning </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You ever have those days, that you wake up, and just know it's going to be the best day ever?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You roll out of bed on the right side, You hear a voice whispering, "Today's a new day.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">To <b>laugh</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To <b>love</b> everyone in sight</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To <b>expect</b> the <b>unexpected</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To <b>dance </b>even when people <i>ARE</i> watching." </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you aren't quite there yet today, </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Shake it off. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Refuse to give in to circumstantial joy.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let strength arise; let the Light of God in and make all that junk hide. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Leave <i>yesterday</i> behind, and always worry about your <u>tomorrow's</u> <b>Tomorrow</b>. [Think about that one ;) </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here's to a Better Day than Yesterday, </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Valerie</span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-73358061059314269232011-09-15T15:15:00.000-07:002011-09-15T16:25:43.990-07:00Watch Out World, We Bustin Out!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lZ6UZgypAwA/TnJuajkxVOI/AAAAAAAAAF8/It6J5VOYImA/s1600/life1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lZ6UZgypAwA/TnJuajkxVOI/AAAAAAAAAF8/It6J5VOYImA/s400/life1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">As some of you may know, but most of you do not, one of the small victories I’ve had this year is I’ve become a runner. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Yes, <i>FOR PLEASURE</i>. (I know right, pure insanity.) </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I <b>hated</b> running.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">With a fiery <i>passion,</i> I couldn’t stand even the thought of running. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But in May of this year, I stood in front of a treadmill and decided <u>I had enough</u>. I would no longer be beat by convincing myself out of “wrong thinking” attitude about what I am capable of; so I said a little prayer asking God for strength and I ran 2 solid miles the first day. (Yeahhh boy!!) </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Several months later, I’m happily averaging 4 miles or so when I run, which is <i>GREAT</i> compared to <u>ANYTHING</u> I ever thought I would be able to accomplish!! & To be honest, I was pretty <b>comfortable</b> with what I was doing. I was satisfied.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I recently joined a new gym in my area and decided to take a class they have called " Tread and Shred" (Basically a running version of the royal-kick-in-the-bum-death-cycling Spin class) . I was unsure of what to expect and I hopped onto the treadmill last night and was placed next to a female marine. Oh yes, competitive side arising!<br />
We ran 30 minutes straight, mainly on 8-9 mph ( I had only been averaging 6-6.3 MAX!) So I was needless to say, A HOT MESS! But I was doing it! How in the world?!... I have never ran at that pace, in those intervals, and for that duration EVER.<br />
Don't get it twisted ya'll, it wasn't a breeze!!!<br />
Yet there I was, placed right next to someone who kept hollering over to me, " You CAN do this!! You CAN DO THIS!!" And I did, I pretty much owned that treadmill!!<br />
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My blogs won't always be about pushing, stretching, and thriving; but it's hard to avoid the topic when I feel like that is what life is all about.<br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So today I personally challenge all of you who are in a comfort zone with who you are, what you have accomplished, to up your game; Because I KNOW you CAN. As much as we complain about people putting us in a "box" we often do the same things to ourselves. What box are you putting yourself in? Don't be afraid to bust out and proclaim, "Watch out world, I'm not done yet!!" <b>Believe</b> you are capable of greater things than what you've settled for.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happily-Bustin-Out'-My-Box,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Valerie</span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-52237283167600481532011-09-12T01:32:00.000-07:002011-09-12T02:33:03.105-07:00The Untold Tale of the Legendary Onion Conquerer.<div style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">“You wanna know something’ about this salad?”<br />
<i> “Mmmm, oookay, sure?”</i></span></div><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><em>“This salad has <u>red onions</u>.” </em></span></span><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><br />
<em> “……That’s amazing.” </em></span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><em>“No...You see, I used to <b>HATE</b> red onions, but one day I just decided…I love EVERYTHING else about this salad..and darn it, these little red onions are not going to ruin the whole thing for me.. SO I ATE IT!!!” </em></span></span><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: x-large;"><em>“….I think this just says a lot about what an over-comer I am.</em>.......”</span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Wow.” </span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;">My wonderful, very compassionate friend Suzan laughed and shook her head, “Wow.."</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(Suzan awkwardly eating my leftovers!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wCtVQ5S_hZU/Tm3HLHLr7-I/AAAAAAAAAFg/FeCSBKWy1Vo/s1600/suzan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nba="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wCtVQ5S_hZU/Tm3HLHLr7-I/AAAAAAAAAFg/FeCSBKWy1Vo/s320/suzan.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"> I giggled as I mumbled out, “..Seriously though.” And I looked out into the ocean and scanned the open sea. <br />
Even though Suzan knows SO MUCH about me and my story...No one quite knows another’s stories, <u>failures</u> and <b>victories</b> other than a the person who has experienced them his/her self.<br />
The joy, the pain, and the “onions” of life are what keep us walking on; Though we rather do without the pain (or rancid smell) but it’s what forces us to stretch because, well, <strong>s t r e t c h i n g</strong> is quite frankly the only thing left to do.<br />
& No one other than myself and God will ever know what that moment was like......I realized I was eating <b>red onions. </b>It sounds silly, <u>insignificant</u> mostly, but I realized all my small victories (like these) were leading me to <strong>greater ones</strong>; and I had been so caught up changing and pressing on I hadn't even realized it!!<br />
<br />
Needless to say, as Suzan lay tanning with her headphones on, I couldn’t stop smiling over my salad. <br />
I chomped, probably pretty cheesy-like, and enjoyed the crap out of that salad that day :o)</span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;">So if you actually stopped to read this, please don’t stop celebrating your small victories. Because we feel small sometimes, we think everything about us is small.<br />
<strong>That’s a lie.</strong><br />
Celebrate your small victories and be encouraged only greater ones are to come! (Please feel free to comment and share as well!!)</span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;">Make <em>YOUR</em> victories <em>legendary</em> ...Even if it's just in your own book :o)</span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Mongolian Baiti; font-size: large;">Blessings</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Valerie</span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-71347944449902437842011-08-27T01:39:00.000-07:002011-08-27T02:27:57.938-07:00Si, se puede!! (I don't know if that's right actually, I don't really speak the spanishes..)<span lang="EN"></span><br />
<div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong><span lang="EN"><em>There’s <u>nothing</u>, not <u>one thing</u>, that I cannot do!!</em></span> </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong>Sometimes my brain creates art. </strong></span></strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #444444;"></span></strong><br />
<div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong>Not typical art, but deep, moving art.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong>I paint a picture with my feelings, or express things I cannot find the words for.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong>My brain then, somehow, sculpts it to <em>perfection</em>, in only the way brains can do.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong> </strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong> Most of my art is fleeting, and drops in during random moments of the day, like when I’m talking to a customer about why recyclable bags are a part of the governments conspiracy using global warming to support a billion dollar “<span style="color: #274e13;">Green</span>’ industry<em>.</em> (For the record, I use canvas bags and cut the rings on soda plastics so baby dolphins <span style="color: #cc0000;">blood</span> do not stain these hands!)</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong> But it comes to me when I’m walking out of my door, or listening to the trees breathe as I nap to little bits of<em> Heaven</em> on earth. But I never actually take pen to paper and draw/paint anything. I’ve always accepted I jus am not gifted in the area of drawlings.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: small;"><strong>I probably, as they call it, “SUCK.”</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #444444;">See picture below</span></strong></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong></strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0D781DY3qr0/TliqYcCD78I/AAAAAAAAAE8/vSuwDoow4L0/s1600/drawling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong><img border="0" qaa="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0D781DY3qr0/TliqYcCD78I/AAAAAAAAAE8/vSuwDoow4L0/s1600/drawling.jpg" /></strong></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong> </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong> </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>Okay. That wasn’t deep at all, but hopefully you get the picture.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>Literally.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>……..Cause I just showed you one.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>I suppose what I’m coming to realize is : <u>We </u>ARE art.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>We, in ourselves, are the definition of a divine <i>artistic expression</i>.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>Our passions, our talents, our giftings, are waiting to be SET FREE from our little dreamer hearts! </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>They’re waiting to be released from those silly misconceptions that our “art” must look like another’s or conform to the pre-set to what we call “beautiful”.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>Because I think </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Creativity is much like our own thumbprint; it cannot be duplicated, cloned, or ever repeated in the same way.</strong></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Rockwell;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"></span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Rockwell;"></span></span><u><span style="font-family: Cambria;"></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444;"><strong><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"></span></span></strong></span></span></u><br />
<div align="center"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong></strong></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><strong>So I think if you aren’t so good at drawling, or dancing, painting, writing, or making funnies (jokes)</strong></span><br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>DO IT ANYWAY</strong></span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-size: large;"><strong><em>Beautifully, </em></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-size: large;"><strong><em>passionately,</em></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;"><em><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="color: black;">CONFIDENTLY</span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #741b47;"> </span>ooze as much of <span style="color: #741b47;"><span style="color: #444444;">YOU</span> </span>into everything <span style="color: #444444;">YOU </span>do.</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="font-family: Rockwell;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"></span></span></span></em></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><br />
</em><br />
<em><br />
</em><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-size: large;"><strong><em>Put your thumbprint on that sucka and call it ART</em></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #444444;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #444444;"></span></div></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-57630697200479249232011-07-25T00:59:00.000-07:002011-09-12T00:54:59.802-07:00What do your small victories mean? :o)<span lang="EN">“You wanna know something’ about this salad?”</span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">“Mmmm, oookay, sure?”</span></span></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;">“</span></span></i></span><span lang="EN"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;">This salad has <u>red onions</u>.” </span></span></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><i><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">“……That’s amazing.” </span></span></i></i></span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN"><i><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;">“No...You see, I used to <b>HATE</b> red onions, but one day I just decided…I <i>love</i> EVERYTHING else about this salad..and darn it, these little red onions are not going to ruin the whole thing for me!!” </span></span></i></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><i><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;">“….I think this just says a lot about what an over-comer I am.</span></span></i></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN"><i><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: x-large;">.......”</span></span><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">“Wow.” </span></span></i></i></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">Before a few years ago, I thought I knew what I wanted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">I knew what I liked, what I didn't like and what I would never do and see myself doing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">Fast forward 2 years and a very humbling life changing event.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">I try everything once, I don't let old pre-conceived ideas about things hold me back & I will NEVER let red onions stop me from eating that <em>delicious, scrumptious</em> <strong>BBQ</strong> <strong>Chicken Salad</strong> anymore!! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">I won't eat around them, I won't pick them old.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">I will take the good with the bad and the bad with the good.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">So what's holding you back from your enjoying your BBQ Chicken Salad? What are you trying "pick out"? Or "go around"?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: large;">I say, Lifes a garden baby, so dig it!! (All of it!!)</span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-20813346261174623162011-07-03T01:43:00.000-07:002011-07-07T14:23:03.629-07:00What FAITH yesterday, can do for you TODAY.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was going to write about something entirely different tonight, then of course my mind hurriedly got swept into something of a tornado of thoughts (Brains are REALLY great at this, at least mine is )But my brain landed right into what TODAY was like :) (Imagine like the old Today show logo)</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.babble.com/famecrawler/files/2011/03/today-show.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://cdn.babble.com/famecrawler/files/2011/03/today-show.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today I woke up smiling, is that weird? I sure thought so! I didn't dream about Conan O'Brien doing the string dance, or a lifetime supply of mango's, or baby sea otters</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(they are sooo cute then they're sleeping!!); I didn't dream anything in particular.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But I woke, smiling. A genuine smile.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Kind of like this little girl, I even sporatically threw up jazz hands for fun! </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.solomonsporch.cc/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Girl-Smiling-52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.solomonsporch.cc/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Girl-Smiling-52.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Really beginning my walk as a Christian this year, I've struggled. When I say, I struggled; I mean, I fell flat on my face and have more spiritual nose bleeds and bruises from walking into walls than Saul maybe (Okay, probably not Saul...)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think even as Christians sometimes we put too much emphasis on how "strong" we are. (Or maybe that's just me? Let me preach to myself then, shoot!!) The problem with this, is anytime we ever face trials or tribulations and react accordingly; we fall into condemnation FOR how we feel. (What?!?) "I shouldn't be sad!!" "My joy is in the LORD!...right?...But...I'm still broken/confused/lost" "You should be ______" I mean, fill in the blanks. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The TRUTH is, sometimes God is allowing something to happen to help me grow, and sometimes, I just don't/cant see it the way He does.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He's showing me how to Be alone.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think it's safe to say we live in a culture that encourages relationships. One might even say, if you aren't seeking one and are actually even closed off to the idea; You're a freak! Seriously, let's keep it real. It's just not as acceptable/normal to choose to be alone.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not that I have to defend the Gospel, but I will say this, even while I was dating Daniel, I always had in mind I'd marry him. (We're funny how we make plans, aren't we?) Then when we broke up, I decided again I'd never be serious again until I got married. (Yes, I rebounded. And thus, like many of us, covered up my pain and insecurities and fear and creating God out of other persons/things..Hoping to be completed by and fulfilled in someone else's arms or lots and lots of tulips) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">ZZZINNNGG!! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Fail.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think my whole life I've had this "In-it-to-Win-it mentality, and honestly, I think we all do. (Save for another blog, I swear, I'll try to elaborate more again...one day... : / ) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But God has been showing me lately, THIS is the process of sanctification. (Falling, crying, stretching, falling, crying, waa waa..I mean somebody call the waa-ambulance already!!) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 19px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sanctification, then, is that sovereign act of God whereby He sets apart a person, a place, or an object for Himself in order that He might accomplish His purpose in the world by means of that person, place, or object.</span></i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 19px;">He is stretchin the hootinnanny (Is there really a correct spelling for this?.....) outta me! Sometimes I feel like Stretch Armstrong and my arm is over there and my leg is over here! :/ But it's a PROCESS, going from spiritual rags to spiritual riches. Yes, Jesus, was/is the only perfect and blameless one..Yes I am made in the likeness of God, but I've lived my whole life not knowing any thing really about who I am actually am, until I met God. (Oh, so thats what they mean by being "born-again") </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 19px;">SANCTIFICATION. Someone preach on sanctification please!! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 19px;">So, instead of throwing my temper tantrums when I'm not receiving what the Lord wants to tell me, or beat myself up when mySelf gets the best of me, or straight up not okay with how much this hurts... </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">I first have to realize: 1. That God has such grace and love for me, I have to have the same on myself during the molding process (</span>Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the <b>potter</b>; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8). It won't happen over night. But I am being made into something I never imaged for myself, or that I could be. I am nothing but clay in the Hands of God, to be molded for His glory. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">2. Stop, drop, and repent! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">3. FAITH!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I could/kinda want to post a million scriptures on faith and what faith can do.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But to put it in my own words, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">faith is all I have. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith, is the very substance of holding onto God when I don't know where I am going or will end up.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith is forcing myself to cling to the hope that there is a purpose, there is purpose between every sun that rises and every sun that sets. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith is letting God wrap me in His arms when I can't muster up the strength to even think about Faith. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith is holding on to <b>TODAY'</b>s purpose ( <i>Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 The Message</i>) I love the second part of that. God will help me deal with WHATEVER hard things come my way, WHEN THE TIME COMES. I have to give my attention to what God is doing now/every day. Every day I have an easy choice to make, my way..or Gods way. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So I woke up smiling today.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I laughed a lot, I watched the sun set on my lunch and got lost in figuring how glorious my God could be; to create such a beautiful world for me to live in for the time being.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><u>Tomorrow</u> may not be perfect, and <u>tomorrow</u>, I won't be either...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But I'm not worried about <u>tomorrow</u>, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Faith from my yesterdays brought me smiling into these <b>Today</b>'s.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Today</b>, I had a good day.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: white; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">"...But those who HOPE in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles..." Isaiah 40:31</span></td></tr>
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</span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-19698958690763310502011-04-17T02:25:00.000-07:002011-04-17T13:37:23.139-07:00So, this isnt the TBC.....but its an impromptu tesimony..small bit...Why I needed a Savior.<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today, was a GREAT day. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Fantastic.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I spent the whole day at the beach with great friends, perfect weather, the whole nine.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Went to our cast party for Heavens Gates and got to watch our play and hang with my church fam (who I grew so much closer to this week) and just soak in being witness to 165 people give their lives to Jesus, and take it in that God let me be a part of that. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Went to the guys house (my bruthas) and did the usual hanging, saw a couple of really cheesy movies.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Drove home per usual around 1 am, little less than 3 mile drive and he popped into my head and my flesh cried out, because I'm not going home to you.</span></div><br />
<span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Not because I miss you. Not because I'm still sitting here asking and pleading with God to make a way for you, so we can be together the way we had planned.... but because my flesh has these memories, that run so deep because I gave my heart to you when I should'nt have. Because I never knew how intimate all of those little things I miss, really are (Like driving home to your spouse). How because we never got married, I wasn't guaranteed ANY THING in the end. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Then as I started crying, this song came on KLove </span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Your name is Jesus<br />
Your name is Jesus<br />
You're the wonderful, counselor, my friend<br />
You're what I hold on to<br />
I know that You brought me through<br />
All the days of loss and to the cross, You knew<br />
That I'd need a Savior"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8VkGrpM5z4c?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">All the days of loss....and to the Cross.. You knew, that I'd need a Savior.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And Your name is Jesus.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My best friend, wonderful counselor.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Youre the one I cling to, and Youre the one that brought me through.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You knew how bad it'd hurt. Because You carried my heartache, and my brokenness when he left me. (the wages of MY sin, You took to the Cross) and you knew I'd need a Savior to fix all of the self destruction I willingly inflicted for cheap, worldy, "love". You knew the deepest parts of my heart, and how they still cried out to know what real Love might be. But just like everyone else, I just wanted to be Loved/accepted/worthy for who I was. Not for the things I did, or the things I might do in the future. But, just LOVED. Without reason. Even when I didn't deserve it. We all need forgiveness don't we? </span></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I remember when I first met You, God. I mean, when I REALLY first met YOU.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Its hard to explain to people, who I pray eventually will really know You, how it felt...</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I felt much like I do now..</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Weeping uncontrollably.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Because I came to You, not knowing You. And truthfully hadnt REALLY believed in You or Christianity before and I didn't deserve anything for all the screwing up I had done, and especially, if You were real...I REALLY DIDNT DESERVE MERCY!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But You drew so close to me anyway, even though I STILL wasnt sure all of this was real or going to work. But I was DESPERATE, my heart was DESPERATE for relief that Eckhart Tolle could not even get his puffed up Ego around fixing .</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And You made yourself known to me, full blown without a doubt, You came in to save me.. and in ways I pray the whole world could experience You in. You crept up beside me, wrapped me in Your arms, and whispered so gently, "Rest in Me". I remember hearing You, over and over, washing Your Love over me and just laying it at your feet screaming, " I can't do this on my own!" You knew I wouldn't be able to. You knew I'd come before I even did. You saw me fail miserably all by myself; my entire life. And you waited. I tortured myself my whole life and kept searching for all the right answers... All the New Age philosophy in the world, meditation.. is cheapened satisfaction and is dirt compared to who You are. And You waited patiently, but also with a jealousy for my affection/attention. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's a lie that I bought and fed for a while, because it was a lot easier to pretend You weren't there. (Because I mean, I didn't really need You). I remember asking You to forgive me for fighting with You for so long, but how my soul finally found peace in Your embrace. Your Love is deep, wonderous, and furious for me. You easily won my heart once I offered surrender. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Next, (about 20 minutes ago) I was drawn to a book about Mother Teresa and opened up a letter she wrote called Varanasi Letter</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"We may spend time in chapel – but have you seen with the eyes of your soul how He looks at you with love? Do you really know the living Jesus – not from books but from being with Him in your heart? Have you heard the loving words He speaks to you?...</span></em></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He loves you always, even when you don’t feel worthy. When not accepted by others, even by yourself sometimes – He is the one who always accepts you. My children, you don’t have to be different for Jesus to love you. Only believe – You are precious to Him. Bring all you are suffering to His feet – only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are. He will do the rest."</span></em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Only a couple excerpts, the whole thing leaves me a mess after every time. Mostly, the about how he looks at me with Love, kind, sweet, intimate, gentle and compassionate Love. I love how she puts it, because it is not the kind of Love I see with my physical eyes...but with, "the eyes of your soul". </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A couple of weeks ago, during a regular wednesday night service I was talking to You in worship and I just felt like asking, "Why? Why would You do this for me? Why do You even Love me? I am the thorn in your crown, and Judas' kiss... and You love me...with this unfathomable Love anyway. WHY?" </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And it was so simple, You came into my heart, and I felt what Your Love really was: Love without reason, Love that suffered/s, Love that was and is and will always be. No matter what I do. Your Love, is the Love, that completely satisfies my soul.. The deepest of Love to ever walk the earth, was Love I still have trouble accepting and believing sometimes. But it is so very real, my soul knows full well it is TRUTH.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">From September of 09 to now, its been a journey to say the least ...even the pain I felt tonight, if pain is what it took to gain knowing the Love of Jesus. Someone give me more, so more can be given to me, I need more.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And NO,</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">this isn't always easy, but with my Savior, I never walk alone.</span> </span></div><h4 style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;">Psalm 23 </span></h4><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> <sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-14237"><span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span></sup>The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. </strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> <sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-14238"><span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span></sup>He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. </strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> <sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-14239"><span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span></sup>He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. </strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> <sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-14240"><span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span></sup> Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.</strong> </span></div>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-31739045765328392622011-04-01T17:07:00.000-07:002011-04-01T17:56:27.951-07:00Why I needed a Savior (and you do too) Part 1/???<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">I've recently began reading Timothy Kellers "The Reason for God : Belief in the Age of Skepticism." (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Reason-God-Belief-Age-Skepticism/dp/1594483493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301704297&sr=8-1">http://www.amazon.com/Reason-God-Belief-Age-Skepticism/dp/1594483493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301704297&sr=8-1</a>) Check it out here for reviews/to buy; Highly recommended by yours truly. I CHALLENGE you to read this book!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">Needless to say, I've been crazy crazy inspired by this book. I am thoroughly impressed and challenged by it; I am certainly in awe of how well researched it is.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">I could write about a million things right now, but I'll try to boil it down to a few key things.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">I titled this blog, "Why I need a Savior" because I think this is the fundamental question that non-believers ask. Its one I asked angrily MILLIONS of time before I accepted the fact that I needed to be "saved." (I mean seriously, saved from what? HELL? Well, that's just not nice! I don't even know that thats real!!)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">I've once heard someone tell me, that Christianity "suckers people into religion when they are the weakest." I'm here to tell you that, that is indeed true. (Although, personally I wouldnt use the term "sucker" because it implies stupidity and ignorance and I do not regard myself either of the two). </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RPaj1HiTXkk/TZZv5x6Iq2I/AAAAAAAAACA/YmLfl1tw_Xo/s1600/dunce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RPaj1HiTXkk/TZZv5x6Iq2I/AAAAAAAAACA/YmLfl1tw_Xo/s320/dunce.jpg" width="313" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">So before I came to accept the Truth of the Gospel, that Jesus Christ is TRULY without a doubt the way to abundant life on EARTH and for ETERNITY I had a few very common views about Christians.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">1. You arrogant sons of (you know what), how dare you tell ME what I need.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">2. My God loves EVERYONE and I refuse to serve one that says certain people are going to Hell (Because this crazy love I have inside for people cannot bear the thought of ANYONE going to this place you call Hell)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">3. I am a good person! Religion disgusts me! All your stupid wars over who's God is better, who's God is the right God. KEEP ME OUT OF THAT CRAP! I just wanna love on some peoples!!,</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">Well, for starters, I know some amazing Christian people. Secondly, I have some also amazing compassionate non-Christian friends. The difference between them isnt who's better than the next. It's who's willing to admit whole heartedly, shamelessly admit they fall miserably short of something....even if they arent quite sure of what it is yet.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NzZWm_zrhKQ/TZZx6W34eOI/AAAAAAAAACE/FZ0UZYcwW4g/s1600/CryingInTheRain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NzZWm_zrhKQ/TZZx6W34eOI/AAAAAAAAACE/FZ0UZYcwW4g/s1600/CryingInTheRain.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">"<em>This is the written account of Adam's line. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God." - Genesis 5:1</em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">God made us to be in the likeness of Himself, if I can say, one of the most important (if not the most important) attribute of who God is. The Christian's God is LOVE. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444;"><em> <span style="color: #f9cb9c;">God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - </span></em></span><a href="http://www.allaboutgod.com/truth/1-john-4.htm#16" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><em>1 John 4:16</em></span></a><span style="color: #f9cb9c;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444;">With this Love of who God could possibly be follow the attributtes of everything Pure, Holy, Perfect, Innocent, Divine, Righteous, Humble but the two that stand out are Love and Forgiveness. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>"Love" according to a Wikipedia reference is: In philosophical context, love is a </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Virtue"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>virtue</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> representing all of human </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Kindness"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>kindness</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>, </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Compassion"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>compassion</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>, and affection. Love is central to many </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Religion" title="Religion"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>religions</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>, as in the Christian phrase, "</strong></span><a class="mw-redirect" href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/God_is_love" title="God is love"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>God is love</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>" or </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Agape"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>Agape</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong> in the </strong></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/wiki/Canonical_gospels"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>Canonical gospels</strong></span></a><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;"><strong>.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-1"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1784751339282343724#cite_note-1"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[2]</span></a></sup> Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-2"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1784751339282343724#cite_note-2"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[3]</span></a></sup> Or as actions towards others based on affection.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-3"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1784751339282343724#cite_note-3"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[4]</span></a></sup></strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">I've always felt a strong love, urge, yearn, compelling feeling (sometimes crazy overwhelming desire) to Love people. In all of their uniquness, all of their flaws, all of their sufferings and I believe its because we were made in this reverent image of something bigger than all of us. Something inside of us compels us to do "what's right".</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">Sometimes at great lengths and costs to ourselves, there is something sacrificial inside of us. (If you did not know, Love is/always GIVES; Yet like I said in the previous post, we usually only are looking out for ourSelves.) Truthfully, everything good and moral I claim to be/want to be I fail to really accomplish most of the time. This wicked true self gets in the way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">Then I think of all of these crazy of stories on the news about the guy who jumped in front of a train to save a stranger, or the guy in the drugstore who took a bullet for the child...What inside of us drives us to great lengths for others? But COMPASSION and Love. (I will get into natural instinct in the next few blogs and why moral and social theories on cause and reason why we act out of Love ultimately FAIL) </span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZdcsqupTbeg/TZZz4jboOUI/AAAAAAAAACU/11PWNDbbLkc/s1600/compassion3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZdcsqupTbeg/TZZz4jboOUI/AAAAAAAAACU/11PWNDbbLkc/s1600/compassion3.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-auyvE0IJuQs/TZZz9L-zesI/AAAAAAAAACc/v3rjLd0vzMk/s1600/compassion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" r6="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-auyvE0IJuQs/TZZz9L-zesI/AAAAAAAAACc/v3rjLd0vzMk/s320/compassion.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">So when Christians (even having many arguments with my own mother) argued that indeed, disobeying the Word of God would send people to Hell it crazy crazy angered me. How can I believe in a God like that? Isn't God all loving? Why would He send people to Hell? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">But I believed our capacity to Love so deeply, create so beautifully, and be so utterly and unmistakabely diverse...Was in fact totally DIVINE. So where did that leave me? Where does that leave the agnostic?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #f9cb9c;">Dead end number one. Why do I need a Savior again? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444;">TBC.</span></span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-10883384785068817112011-03-25T17:11:00.000-07:002011-03-25T18:45:33.819-07:00Desperate to be LOVED or Love Agape<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Would I be lying to you if I said we lived in a society that was DESPERATE to be loved? Would it be far fetched to say there's something inside of us, that NEEDS to be loved and to love, more than breathing itself? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I know 90% of you would agree that its true; and if you don't, well your'e a big fat liar.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It all begins when we're babies. Yep, babies need love. Doesnt sound like a mind blowing revelation does it? Let me finish... When we were born, already in us was this built in LOVE ME!! button, and even though we were babies, we knew how to push it cause darn-it, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO HOLD ME ALREADY!!!....For some of us, that doesnt sound that different from today does it? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We're in these big adult suits now, and more than half of us are screaming," Darn it, somebody needs to hold me already!!"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Am I wrong?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was one of them. I won't get into the ex factor about it, but I will say I was what my Pastor Andrew refers to as a "vacuum, cause they will suck the life out of you."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I started at the La Jolla Trader Joes I was "dating" someone right out of my 8 year relationship and I was flying high on infatuation (also to be translated as lies-you-will-tell-yourself-so-you-wont-face-being-alone-then-rality-sets-in-and its like CRAP)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It was this vicious cycle of break up make up for a while, but truthfully, God was constantly convicting me telling me this </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1. Wasnt where He wanted me to be</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">2. I was really damaging myself further for such a cheap, temporary satisfaction (Hellllooooo, does anybody else know what I mean? Drugs? Alchohol? Etc?)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">3. LUST never satisfies, DRUGS- never satisty </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763;"> </span><span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I didn't know at the time, all of these "feelings" I had about it, was God looking out for me. Desperately trying to get my attention that He is the ONLY thing that can satisfy my helpless, JACKED up soul.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">But see, we're really good about ignoring God. I mean certfied experts on selective God-ar. I mean, personally, I could write a book on "How To Ignore The Greatest Love of Your Life/The Best thing to ever happen to you"..</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">We only hear what we want to hear, and see what we want to see. Sadly, tragically, a lot of us will spend our whole lives afraid of finding out if these deep feelings of unsatisfaction could MAYBE, MAYBE be this God they've heard about (Cause it probably means I have to change right? And change sucks, cause like, I'm so used to what I'm doing now and it seems fun and stuff....and well, I dont wanna change!! Cue, more, excesssive child-like rebellion here). <span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/luke/17-33.htm"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Times New Roman;">Luke 17:33</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow;"> Whoever tries to KEEP his life will LOSE it, and whoever LOSES his life will PRESERVE it</span>.</span> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;"> Because the truth is, you are a kid still. We all are.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">That embedded LOVE-ME! button was/is there for a reason. God put it there.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">So you would Love him the most, and so He could love you more than anyone else ever could ON THE PLANET. So HE could be the only thing to satisfy you. The crazy thing about God though, is that He doesnt ever force it on you. (Like the world does, He doesnt NEED you to love Him...But He wants you to). He will puruse you, but not demand you to Love him back (Like the world does of you). He will give you road after road to choose Him and His way, but He will never make you do something you dont want to do yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">And the thing is, we dont know how to Love; truly.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">We've been let down.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">Things have happened to us that screwed up the whole concept of Love for life, it seems like. ( And to clear it up, I am really more talking about Love AGAPEand it can be defined as SWEET, DIVINE, PURE, SELF SACRIFICING, PURE, UNCONDITIONAL, THOUGHTFUL Love of the Father and through the One and Only Son Jesus Christ).</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">The world is really jacked up. I'll be the first to say that, but I believe in Love.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">I believe Love can cover up all the wrongs, and make it right. (Love AGAPE)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">Kids are abused, kidnapped, and some molested (Myself going through one of those things). Theres rape, there is heinous murder and tragedy in war. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">Starvation.( We can get more into these things in another blog)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">Back on track,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">Youre in this big adult suit, just a kid..with no direction, no instruction and really, you want to be Loved and accepted. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">First things first, </span><strong><sup>4</sup></strong><span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">You were made by God to Love God and be filled up by His Love for YOU. Nothing you say, or feel, changes that. Its the Truth. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763;"><span style="color: yellow;"><em><span style="font-family: Microsoft Sans Serif;">"...you shall <b>love the Lord your God with all your heart</b>, with all your <b>soul</b>, with all your <b>mind</b>, and with all your <b>strength</b>.’ This is the first commandment." </span><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua;">Mark 12:30</span></em></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Second, This is how God commands us to Lovc one another, the way Christ Loved us.</span> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;"><em>" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28671"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span></strong></sup> It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28672"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span></strong></sup> Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-28673"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span></strong></sup> It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."</em><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> 1 <span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow;">Corinthians 4-7</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #073763; color: yellow; font-family: Georgia;">More on Love soon, and the beautiful, mind blowing, Love of Jesus Christ.</span><br />
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-62516377796102946002010-12-07T00:54:00.000-08:002010-12-07T01:52:59.952-08:00Its cliche, but I blinked maybe twice and it was December 2010. Um, what happened?<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">I was going to try and intertwine the previous post with this one, but seperating them felt necessary. With the whole November blog before us, I can't believe its (technically) December 7th 2010, a whole year and month since. Seriously? I could not possibly fit an entire years worth of memories into one single blog, so I'll start with how I remember last December going.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">Though I had the whole 30 day rule under my belt, that was the best I could honestly do. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">I was more than a hot mess.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">I was a royal, out-of-control hot mess. Plus 10.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">I seriously owe it to God for giving me an AMAZING set of Fulltimers during that time, they were the blessing I needed (to keep my job that is)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">The truth is, around this time last year, I wouldve already maybe been a bottle of wine deep and uncorking the second. Conan mightve been on in the background, but I was sitting on the brown flowered floor rug my sister gave me cause I told her I liked it ( I only took a lamp when I moved out) and smoking a black because I picked up that habit when I decided it made me feel better too. I was 23, I had lived "on my own" since I was 18, but I'd never ever spent a day alone or without him since I was 15 and I felt like I was losing my mind, truthfully, LOSING IT. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">At first, I would tell myself its "pampering" myself after a long day.. and that I "deserved" . At least thats what I made myself believe, for a very very long time. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">But it was bad. Most times I wouldn't even have food in my tiny section of the fridge...but there was beer! Some days, alcohol would be my only meal of the day. Then </span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">right next to my flowers would be half a bottle of tequila from margarita nights(which meant every night pretty much, but I did love my wine). There was only half because I knocked it over after I drank the bottle of wine, or in some sort of drunken rage of throwing crap against the walls. Or on cleaning day, I'd gather the 3-5 40's I bought with my last 5 bucks, or realized I really needed to drink and nothing was open but 7-11.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">I got wasted on my weekends and stayed glued to my bed, I'm glad no one really knew how bad it was. Well, I think Claudia knew And maybe, maybe my mom, but I'm sure she was in denial. I'm sure all of those 3 am drunk dials cant be forgotten(I love you ma).But even laying here now, reflecting on it, I feel a sucker punch wave of pain to my heart. No one but me and God really know what went down within those four walls those first few months, not just the walls of my room. But the ones in my heart, the ones surrounding my mind. I can honestly say, I was detoxing from a person, from an addiction. They dont have rehab for Just-got-dumped-after-spending-almost-half-your-life-with someone/Only-guy-you've-ever-cared-about. They didnt offer classes on "How to be an indivudual and/or coexist without someone you made your other half" </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">Alcohol is a cheap mans prescription for pain, and it was no different for me......</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">But here I am, December 6th 2010, I knew I'd get here. I just never imagined I would be THIS happy, THIS peaceful, THIS changed, THIS BLESSED! (Thank GOD!!) </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ea9999;">Drunk on Peppermint Jo Jo ice cream, High on God, Wasted with LIVING LIFE!!!!!!! :)</span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-57443961921790090972010-12-07T00:23:00.000-08:002010-12-07T00:23:26.983-08:00<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">My calendar fell off the walls a few months ago, and yeah, I'd been too lazy to pick it up and rehang so it kind of got thrown around my books and journals for a while; But I felt like rehanging it a few weeks ago. </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">I happened to open it up to November of last year and I saw an entire month with big fat X marks on every day of the month. It sounds silly, but when I looked at it, I think I can tell how I was feeling each day about that then HUGE daily accomplishment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">As lame as it sounds, I (maybe read somewhere....erm...) that a good rule for a break up is the 30 day rule, so my day happened to land on November 6th, it was the last day he had emailed(via Facebook) telling me how...Well, its sort of irrelevant what he told me, so I'll spare you. What I'm getting at is, when I picked up the calendar to that month exactly, I felt God telling me, " Look how far you've come." All I could do was smile. </span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-70205033427932729332010-11-16T02:32:00.000-08:002010-11-16T03:05:36.416-08:00Liar Liar<span style="color: #351c75;">Its really ironic, the title of this blog that is...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;">The first part of my personal mantra is Let go, and of course I embrace this often, and I really try to every day. The problem is, I can let go of everything usually thats negative or could upset me. I really am positive 87% of the time.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Except when it comes to you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">And No, this isn't what most people think it is. When tell people I was engaged last year, after an 8 year relationship, the response I usually get is, "What the!!..." Insert hugs and horrified faces here. (Always awkward) and generally my response goes something like, " No! Dont! Seriously the best thing that couldve happened to me!" And its true, it really is. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">I put the facts in front of me feeling like if I profess them outloud, it makes my case that I am 100% okay.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">And sometimes I truly feel that way, MOSTLY.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;">But being inspired by recent, raw honesty amon friends... I trust everyone and Love everyone and above all. I love God because He healed me when I took refuge in Him and I feel Him so close to me when I bring my case before Him.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">But there's one sore, dark, afflicted room in my heart that I don't want anyone going into because its a place I don't want to acknowledge exists. No one, not even God, is supposed to go there. He can have all of me, and speak Truth over everything else in my life, except the key to this room is still held by someone else. Its where you still define me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Youre there.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Youre the reason why I don't believe in ever finding real Love</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Youre standing there in the memories, and instead of all of the "love" I saw there. All I see now is how terribly we failed each other. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Youre there in the room, mixing mojitos, telling me what a screw up I am and always will be.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">I fall for it every time. Every single time.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">With how far I've come, how strong people think I am, I pretty much find it impossible to believe I'm worth fighting for... By anybody. Talk about self worth issues huh? </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">The truth is, I hide in Gods wings most of the time, and there I'm safe. But what will I do when he pushes me out and asks me to take a leap of faith? </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Will I always see you there? Reminding me I'll never deserve all I ask for, and even if I did ask for it as I have, You'll never be brave enough to risk it all again. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">I recieved a perverted sort of love when I was too young,</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">and Ive spent my whole life displacing, rearranging, assembling, fixing, and setting my self worth in nothing but Lies about what it's like to be really Loved and cared for and I have clung desperately to them for so long.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">People tell me to follow my heart about it when the time comes, that's just stupid.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">My hearts lied to me my whole life because hearts like to be adored and persuaded and sought after to cover up all the other lies that we believed before. They like to settle for petty attention instead of wait for sincere devotion, and the sad part is, we tell ourselves settling acceptable normalcy and waiting is in the extreme. Hearts are hasty, and no one should trust their own cause its a vicous cycle.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;">When does it end?</span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784751339282343724.post-91118888073406690052010-11-01T01:33:00.000-07:002010-11-01T01:36:35.830-07:00The most amazing woman I know<span style="color: #a64d79;">Blogging seems like a lot of work and time consuming, but I'm going to give this a shot.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">45 years ago today (Sorry ma!) a baby girl was born, and God said, "This is good." :)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">I couldnt go to sleep tonight without dedicating a little bit of my day to the most amazing woman I know, My mom.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Nothing can explain the depths of how much our moms love us, accept us, hurt for us, and man do they have grace for us!! I am so blessed. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">My mom and I have not always had the best relationship, truthfully there were rough times in both of our lives that tore us apart. That brought resentment, painful words, and what conversations that merely amounted to sentences over the course of maybe five years.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">The past year, I've faced the toughest year of my life. Looking back on that first month, I remember one night so well, and I will probably never forget it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">After a long drive from California, I sat outside of my parents house and cried.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">My mom came out and sat with me and the car, and just held me. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life, and she just held me and cried with me. I screamed, I yelled, and I cursed. Did I mention I cried? When I looked into her eyes, no matter how great the pain felt, a part of me told me what she was feeling FOR ME might have been more painful than what I was even feeling myself. I remember her telling me, trying to explain to me, (through my ramblings) how sometimes Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">I think this was the night my relationship was truly restored with her, and I give thanks to God every day for doing what He had to do to get my life right. </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Because through so much pain, with SO MANY tears, so much beauty has been given to me in its place, like a real appreciation for an amazing mom like mine. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">People always tell me how much I look like my mom, and I still don't like it. ( though she is beautiful!) But these days, I truly pray with sincerity, those words will change and people will tell me, </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">"You are just LIKE your mother. Shes kind, she is compassionate, and she serves her Lord with every breath she has. She is patient, she's funny, she's graceful. She's the kind of woman who is a blessing to everyone she meets."</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Because my mother is all of those things and so much more.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">I love you mom, thank you for never ever giving up on me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">For always forgiving me</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">For holding me when I have just needed to be held</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">For giving me grace when I am a pain!! :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">But for giving me reason to be all that I am called to be, and believing that I am.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">So thank you mom, for reminding me that yes, some of Gods greatest gifts are indeed unanswered prayers. He gave me knowledge of Love, and with that gift, came a new Love for you. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">Happy Birthday mama!</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Love, </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Vermacellli Fideo</span>Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506500965860991183noreply@blogger.com0