Blogging seems like a lot of work and time consuming, but I'm going to give this a shot.
45 years ago today (Sorry ma!) a baby girl was born, and God said, "This is good." :)
I couldnt go to sleep tonight without dedicating a little bit of my day to the most amazing woman I know, My mom.
Nothing can explain the depths of how much our moms love us, accept us, hurt for us, and man do they have grace for us!! I am so blessed.
My mom and I have not always had the best relationship, truthfully there were rough times in both of our lives that tore us apart. That brought resentment, painful words, and what conversations that merely amounted to sentences over the course of maybe five years.
The past year, I've faced the toughest year of my life. Looking back on that first month, I remember one night so well, and I will probably never forget it.
After a long drive from California, I sat outside of my parents house and cried.
My mom came out and sat with me and the car, and just held me. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life, and she just held me and cried with me. I screamed, I yelled, and I cursed. Did I mention I cried? When I looked into her eyes, no matter how great the pain felt, a part of me told me what she was feeling FOR ME might have been more painful than what I was even feeling myself. I remember her telling me, trying to explain to me, (through my ramblings) how sometimes Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
I think this was the night my relationship was truly restored with her, and I give thanks to God every day for doing what He had to do to get my life right.
Because through so much pain, with SO MANY tears, so much beauty has been given to me in its place, like a real appreciation for an amazing mom like mine.
People always tell me how much I look like my mom, and I still don't like it. ( though she is beautiful!) But these days, I truly pray with sincerity, those words will change and people will tell me,
"You are just LIKE your mother. Shes kind, she is compassionate, and she serves her Lord with every breath she has. She is patient, she's funny, she's graceful. She's the kind of woman who is a blessing to everyone she meets."
Because my mother is all of those things and so much more.
I love you mom, thank you for never ever giving up on me.
For always forgiving me
For holding me when I have just needed to be held
For giving me grace when I am a pain!! :)
But for giving me reason to be all that I am called to be, and believing that I am.
So thank you mom, for reminding me that yes, some of Gods greatest gifts are indeed unanswered prayers. He gave me knowledge of Love, and with that gift, came a new Love for you.
Happy Birthday mama!